{what a foster care license means}

Unfortunately in our state of humanity so many of us are willing to sign up for commitments that we can not keep. We often see marriage, children, jobs, etc. in a fantastical view and when tough times come (and they always do) we bail out. This has been a reality for numerous children waiting to be adopted in the state of north carolina. Well meaning families choose to adopt them but once their behavoir becomes hard to control, or they realize that this child needs more time and effort than their others they too relinquish their rights as parents. Of course, this leads to more pain and loss for the child. Therefore, with most domestic agencies here, they ask you to participate in the foster to adopt program. In this program, the child lives with you as a foster child first. Foster children know that foster homes can change...and therefore they are not told that this family is forever, until the adoption is complete. Adoption takes place three months to a year after they are living with you.

While to most the "foster" part is non permanent....in Charlie and I's mind we see it just as a stepping stone to adoption. We are in it for the long haul.

{two miracles in one day}

As many of you know my grandmother (in california) had a triple bybass last wednesday. While I knew that this surgery is generally routine, I also knew that she is so dear to me and that the thought of losing her would be so very painful. So on thursday I stood in AWE of God as I got 2 amazing phone calls back to back. The first from my father saying that my grandmother was up talking and even walking. In her words, "she is a tough old bird".

Then as I hung up the phone I heard from our agency that our foster care license had come in. I was filled with emotion. Charlie and I are going to be parents!!! Can you believe it. After five years of trying, thousands of prayers, and six months of waiting....we get to begin a family.

{january blues}

I have to admit that these first days of January have not been to bright....and while my tendency is to feel bleak and discouraged....I am reminded that GOD is for me and who can be against me. We are still waiting on our foster care license to come back and until then there is no moving forward (including no contact). It has been officially 6 weeks. However, because of the holidays our license could take closer to 8 or even 10 weeks. Please pray for us during this time. I am going to fast tomorrow to ask GOD to give us direction. We both never thought it would be this hard.

{birthdays}

November and December were exciting months with AM's birthday, Charlie's, and of course Christ's. We got to go to a birthday party for her at our friend Kathy's from Church. She was so suprised to see us and in the middle of scarfing down pepporoni pizza she sighed, "I am so happy". It was a wonderful time. She loved the butterfly kite that Mr. Charlie got her and the fancy ballet flats that I got her. When it came time for cake she was so excited that it was chocolate raspberry. We purchased it from West End Bakery...and it was AWESOME! (Butterflies were everywhere.)

Soon after her brithday our agency told us we could not see her outside of church because our foster care license was still not back. It was a very trying time filled with a ton of tears. However, soon after was charlie's birthday and she called and left a message singing to him. Charlie and I both cried. The next week we had a celebration of Christ's birthday at Church as she got to come. There was singing, a pinata, pizza, games and a whole lot of fun. The best part though was the Christmas presents she gave us...a scarf and earings for me (stunning!....I try not to wear them everyday because I love them SOOOOOO much) and a multi-tool and ornament for Charlie!!!

{waiting}

Melissa had her first interview for the home study today. It seemed to go well. The hardest part though is the waiting. On Thursday, of this week they are having a team meeting to decide the next steps. We are hopefully that we will get to attend her birthday on the 13th and that we will be able to hang out with her soon. The waiting reminds you that GOD is in control.

{home studies}

This week I finished all the homework to begin the interview process for our "home study [ho.me. st.u.dy. a time where the program manager interviews you and your spouse seperately and together]. My interview will hopefully be early next week. Please pray that the time goes smoothly and quickly.

Also Charlie's grammy is currently in the hospital with pneumonia...so we are currently down at the coast sitting by her side. Please pray that God would take away the pain that she is feeling, at this point we are uncertain on how much longer she will live.

{love continual}

There is a simple song titled "Continue" by Enter the Worship Circle that states:
Continue to love me, With that same love
Righteous and unchanging
Continue to love me, With that same love
Priceless and unfailing
Your love it reaches to the sky
Your righteousness, a mountain high
How priceless, Your unending love
Both high and low among men
Take cover under Your wings
How priceless, Your unending love
(Hear it at http://www.entertheworshipcircle.com/downloads/downloads.php)

The words though simple to me resonate. It states that love, the eternal type, is better than anything else. It is sweet. It is awe inspiring. It is grateful. It is righteous. I can't help feel that way today. I replay the weekend and I am in awe of a little girl who is so amazing and I am in awe of a God that cares enough to bring her to me.